"Just when you think the world can't get any stupider, it does," House said as he sat down across from Wilson in the cafeteria. He already knew that people were idiots, but once in a while, he was surprised at the lengths said idiots would go to prove him right.

"Cuddy made you work clinic duty, didn't she?" Wilson smiled, clearly in a mocking manner.

House spread mayonnaise on his sandwich. He never trusted the food service workers to apply condiments in correct proportions. "Someone looks smug. Get laid last night with the dying cancer patient?"

Wilson looked as if he was going to tell House to shut up very loudly. But they both knew that would cause a bigger scene. "I'll bite. How did your patient make you question humanity's collective intelligence?"

"He had dysentery and finally came in for a diagnosis." House started to eat his sandwich. He wanted to make Wilson wait as it'd took him long enough to ask.

"I assume you asked the regular question of if he'd been out of the country or drank river water." Wilson must've been in a hurry to have people cry on his shoulder today.

House nodded and swallowed. "And he hadn't. Then I asked if he was a scat queen."

Wilson rolled his eyes in a familiar, only House would say that way.

"Turns out the idiot gave an unprotected rim job. Apparently, his partner claimed be to a vampire and since vampires don't use that part of their anatomy-"

"Lovely." Wilson took a sip of his soda. "I hope you introduced him to a dental dam."

"I offered to call you for a consultation demonstration. But he declined." House stole a fry from Wilson's plate and enjoyed the current glare he was getting.

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