By:
Rating: PG13.
Setting: between "Something Blue" and "Hush."
Notes: Second part of Destiny In Two Acts.
Spike opened and shut Rupert Giles' drawers in search of Weetabix. "Watcher," he shouted in frustration. "Where did you hide ‘em?"
"I'm not hiding it anywhere, Spike," Giles shook his head. "You obviously ate the last of it again. It's high time that you go to the grocery store."
"And tempt me with all those tasty children to eat."
"I thought you preferred young women," he attempted to go back to his reading.
"I do. But all those little brats begging their mums for the latest overpriced sugary treat gets my apatite rolling. Plus they're bloody annoying." Spike opened the last cupboard in Giles' kitchen and rummaged around. "Found it," he announced triumphantly as he pulled the Weetabix out of the ricer Buffy had left at Thanksgiving. "Good god, I'm starving." He dumped part of the box into a mug full of pig's blood.
"You know, Rupert," he turned to face the man while his blood heated in the microwave. "You're not very good at hiding things. Or if you do, they come back and bite you in the arse like that whole Eyghon mess. One thing I can't understand," he tilted his head, "is how you kept your life with Ethan a secret from Nancy Drew and her little groupies."
"So you do remember," Giles responded.
"Of course I do. Vampire." The microwave beeped and Spike removed the mug. He took a big gulp, then plopped himself down on the couch. "You know why I never killed you?"
"Yes, Spike. Enlighten me with why your obsession with Slayers never allowed you to take revenge on me."
"You're forgetting Ethan."
Giles sighed; despite what Spike thought, he never forgot Ethan - not for one moment. "Why Spike?" he humored the chipped vampire.
"Thought you were hot - as Buffy would put it."
"And my blinding beauty stopped you from killing me."
"No," he gulped the last of the blood. "But by the time I got Dru better, your Slayer did. And those fucking commandos."
"One thing puzzles me," Giles removed his glass and turned towards the vampire.
"Why I never shagged you senseless?" Spike offered.
"No," he sternly replied and rubbed his glasses with a piece of white cloth. "Why you never obtained the pleasure of telling Buffy and the rest of the children about Ethan and I. Their immediate reactions surely would have made your day."
"Despite all your snobbery, you can be a real fuckwit." Spike made his way off the couch to wash his mug. "Don't you think I'm just waiting for the most opportune time to share your little secret. That's right, I'm the Big Bad."
"And because of your neutered state, you're forced to use the tactics of a schoolgirl. At least one of them could pull my hair without intensive neurological pain."
"Fine," Spike walked to the far wall. "You've forced my hand. I'm going to call Buffy. Or perhaps, I should ring Cordelia up and ask her all about the tactics of bitchy schoolgirls."
Giles' heart rate sped up. He felt the day Ethan's mother came unannounced to their flat creeping up on him. Words - cold and cutting - sharper than any knife he and Ethan had used with their magics. Buffy could never understand, much less the others. Telling them about Ethan would have come easier if Ethan had not already introduced himself as a menace to their world.
Of course, Spike's threats were empty words. Because somewhere in Spike's subconscious, he still wished they were a little more than reluctant, snarky housemates.