Author:
For: lornelover
Pairing: Spike/Xander
Rating: R
Requirements:
VW: "Like the crab people on South Park. They disguised themselves as our favorite 5 gay men and were turning everyone into meterosexuals so they could take over the world. It was great."
LL: "I saw that episode over break! The only one I've seen in a long time. Crab People! Crab People! And, it also contained by new favorite phrase: "pound butt".
Guy: "Hey, my shoes don't say 'I pound butt!' Mr. Garrison: "No, your shoes say you take it in the butt!"
Go write me a smut story where they end up giggling because someone calls it 'pounding butt'. Do it! Ok, maybe not. ;)"
Notes: "Ttub dnuop I" means "I pound butt" in Klingon or at least that's what a translator program told me.
Xander stepped out of the shower and wrapped himself in the towel. He'd had a hard workday and was really looking forward to watching that Star Trek: The Next Generation marathon on cable.
He walked down the stairs to the basement. "Honey, I'm home," he said sarcastically to Spike who was still occupying his couch and eating his Chessy Poofs.
Spike rolled his eyes and turned around. He set the bag down. "Nice towel," he said, smirking. "But I bet that there's something better under it."
"Spike," Xander began, "you can just stop with the sexual innuendo because I've heard it all before. If it isn't you talking about wanting to pet my willy, it's Anya saying how hot it would be if you and I..." He pulled up a pair of boxers under his towel. "Yeah," he finished.
"So you got the bird's permission." Spike stood up, lifting up his own shirt and running his hands over his abs. His tongue licked the top of his lip.
"Can you just quit it?" Xander pleaded. He had a headache from running the jackhammer all day.
Spike swaggered over to where Xander stood. "That wasn't what you said last night, love," he whispered in Xander's ear. His hand move to cup Xander's crotch.
Xander was already hard. He still felt 17 around Spike – able to get an erection by looking at linoleum. Spike had begun to thrust his hips into Xander's. "You win," Xander gave in, kissing him.
Spike growled, "I always win." He started unbuckling his pants.
"That's right Spike, you win. I pound butt," Xander said, moving in for another kiss.
"You what?" Spike laughed. He fell on the bed laughing. "You pound butt?" Spike was turning a finer shade of crimson and had begun snorting.
"Fine," Xander said, pulling on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. "I'm going to watch Star Trek now, and you can join me if you like. Once you stop laughing." Xander slouched on the couch and turned on the television.
"Ttub dnuop I," Spike laughed. He had managed to move to the couch and leaned against Xander's shoulder.
"You've been reading my Klingon dictionary again?" Xander looked at Spike; he was making his innocent face. "Oh man, it's a Wesley episode," he complained as the show started.
"Actually, he's not bad," Spike said. "I think that he's just inconstantly written." Xander glared at him. "What? I can't have an opinion?"