"It was an illusion," Wesley told Buffy, but she didn't quite believe him. "Angel needed to convince the Senior Partners that we were dead, but still needed to protect the citizens of L.A. He knew what he was getting into and so did Spike and Illyria."

Not that Buffy knew or cared who this Illyria chick was. At least, she was assuming that Illyria was a woman, considering her little Italian had taught her that names ending with 'a's signified women. Maybe she'd never understand why her hand was male, but her finger female.

"Buffy," Wesley repeated her name.

Buffy nodded and headed toward the grave markers. "Don't worry about me, Wes," she mumbled, knowing that he'd leave her alone anyway.

The markers were simpler than she'd expected: plain stone with their chosen names carved on them. No birthdates and no deathdates. Wesley and Gunn hadn't done this for the dead, but for themselves, for her. Vampires were dust in wind like that song her father used to sing on repeat during the road trips they took to see her grandmother in Salt Lake City.

Buffy sat in front of the stones for hours, staring at the space between them, never noticing or caring about the third. The sky was blue and the forest green from some utopian dream. She wanted to tell herself that Giles' numbers on the decline of malicious demon activity and vampire population had something to do with the battle in L.A. and not the activation of hundreds of Slayers.

Eventually, she heard footsteps approaching her. No doubt someone come to make sure that Buffy wasn't insane with grief. But part of her always expected that they'd both die without telling her.

"Hey." The mystery person was Gunn, who sat down next to her. "You okay?"

"I wish everyone would stop asking me that," Buffy said. Her eyes not moving from their place. She felt Gunn watching her.

"Note to self, don't ask Buffy if she's okay. You hungry?"

"Not really." Buffy pulled her knees up to her chest. Her left foot started to tingle as it had fallen asleep. The blue darkened and soon would be laced with oranges and pinks.

"That's cool. You don't mind if I'm here, right?"

Buffy turned toward Gunn and met his stare. There was something calming about his dark brown eyes. "You were a part of their team. I was just an ex. Sure, an ex they got into fist fights over and both claimed to love me forever and ever, but still just an ex." She put her hand on his arm. "You know, I think that I'm going to be okay. Did you say something about food?"

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