Author:
For: brandil
Beta: spartacusjones
Fandom: BSG
Pairing: Ellen/Saul
Rating: PG
Setting: Spoilers for early S3
Prompt: Ellen haunting Saul Ghost of Christmas (or whatever they'd call it in their religion) past/present/future type thing
Words: 1420
Summary: Ellen never considered the afterlife.
Ellen never considered the afterlife. It wasn't that she thought she was indestructible or hadn't wondered about death; she just hadn't given much thought to the afterlife. She was never very religious and had mostly expected nothing. Mostly she misses Saul terribly. One night, he wishes her there with him.
Ellen crosses her arms when she finds herself in her and Saul's former quarters on Galactica. Saul's passed out on the bed and Ellen hovers over him. "Wake up, Saul," she says. "Wake up," she says again a little louder than the first time.
"What the frak?" Saul's eyes get bigger when he sees her. But at least he can see her. She had worried about that. "Ellen?" Saul jerks up in bed and grabs his gun. "Ellen's dead. You're just a frakking toaster."
Ellen hopes that he doesn't fire the gun. She's not sure if she'd be more annoyed at a hole in her clothing or him alerting Bill. "I am certainly not a frakking toaster, Saul Tigh."
Saul's hands are shaking on the gun. Ellen's about ready to slap him. "You're dead," he says.
"I know that." Ellen places her hand on Saul's arm and lowers the gun. "Now put that away and we'll be much better." She gives him a smile when the gun's back in its holster on the nightstand. Ellen never did like those things.
"I don't understand." Saul's still staring at her, eyes wide, and probably scared out of his mind.
"You wanted me here." Ellen sits down on the bed next to him. "I missed you."
They both turn their attentions toward the door; neither of them heard it chime. Helo stands in the doorway. "Colonel, the Admiral wanted me to inform you that President Roslin will be visiting later this evening and wondered if you'd like to join them."
Ellen realizes that Helo can't see her and also that she can't remember his actual name.
"Lt. Agathon," Saul says. Agathon that was his name. And then Ellen's trying to remember his first name as Saul tells the boy off and that his doesn't want to attend any frakking dinner with Roslin.
Ellen crosses her arms as Helo leaves them alone. "I guess this means only you can see me."
Saul's climbing off the bed, away from her. "Who thought I'd get so lucky," he mutters. He's making a beeline toward the rest of his alcohol.
"Saul, I didn't come here to watch your drink yourself to death." Ellen glared at him. "Put the bottle down. Didn't we agree to stop drinking in excess?" She taps her foot against the metal grate and watches him wince. "I've been watching you, Saul, and it seems that you've tossed that promise out like yesterday's trash."
"What do promises matter." Saul clenches the bottle in his hand. "I couldn't keep mine anyway."
*****
"Promises matter," Ellen says. They're standing at the back of a large hall: the one that she and Saul were married in.
Saul looks more horrified than when she first appeared. "Where are we?"
Ellen rolls her eyes. "Remember how happy we were." Ellen remembers everything important. Like how she chose a shade of pale pink instead of white for her dress and how she had sex with her new husband in the coat closet at their reception. She never did like waiting.
"We should stay in the back." Saul's hand is on her arm.
"I doubt they can see us." Ellen would walk forward but she likes the feeling of Saul touching her. She doesn't feel as lonely anymore. Ellen had meant every word when she said that he always took care of her. Now it was her turn to take care of him. "Ten years is a long time."
"But not long enough," Saul mutters as then him and her kiss in front of their friends and family. She can't see his eye.
Ellen thinks that this is the point where she would comment on how young they were. But they weren't particularly young then and they aren't now. One of her many regrets over dying that she'd finally made that decision to grow old with him. She'd accepted and come to find pleasure in the idea of being with Saul. She feels a heaviness in her throat and shakes her head. "Think we should join the reception?"
Saul hands her a flute of champagne.
******
"So what this is some kind of moral mystery?" Saul asks. His voice is sharp and piercing. They're standing in the cave that she died in, the one the resistance dug into the ground. Nothing's there but her dead body. New Caprica's a memory, a past. Some day, their future shelves will be here again, to find broken statues and wonder just how they lived. She can almost see it. "Ellen."
Ellen sees the look of horror in Saul's eye. But there's nothing she can say to her husband to make it better. There's nothing that either of them can do that will bring her back. This is the present. It's where Saul lives.
Saul stares at her. Well, he stares at her body, not at her. Ellen never thought she'd be in competition for Saul's attention from her own corpse.
"Saul, that's nothing but an empty shell."
"I left you behind."
"No, you left my body behind." Ellen touches his face and lightly kisses him. She's far less angry than she thought she'd be. Perhaps she had her fairy tale after all: fairy tales were always nastier than the ones re-told to children anyway. "Perhaps there are better places to dwell."
Saul shakes his head and turns away from her.
"I know I haven't always been that supportive of Bill's mission to find Earth, but he and Roslin might just be crazy enough to find it. Don't you want to help them? Don't you want to be happy again?" Somewhere Ellen remembers being surprised with herself, being surprised with Saul when they moved to New Caprica. "We were happy here."
"And we were frakking miserable," Saul says.
Ellen thinks about scrubbing mud out of everything and always being scared of the sound of metal against metal. "We were all miserable," she agrees. They both chuckle at that and stand there in silence. "You know I knew what was in the cup."
Saul looks at her, her not the corpse, and nods. "What kind of man does that to his wife?"
"Better you than Anders or anyone else and their trigger fingers. Besides, you're better than them." Ellen takes Saul's hand. She has no more need to be here, no desire. "Come on, we've spent enough time with death."
*****
They're standing on a beach and Ellen isn't wearing shoes. She's in the purple dress she bought at the Picon street fair. Saul steps back from the water's edge, but Ellen lets it run between her toes. She feels like running under the bright, warm sun.
"What's this?" Saul demands. He's tiring sometimes; however, Ellen knows better than to waste these precious moments.
"The future." Ellen smiles. "Just us, here forever." She takes his hands in hers and tugs him toward the ocean.
"So this is heaven."
Ellen laughs. "Hardly. Look around, Saul; it's Earth." And their solitude melts away to reveal a busy beach shore with crowds of people, tanning in shorts and swimsuits. Saul looks out of place in his Colonial uniform.
Saul grunts as two children almost run into him as they rush for their sandcastle. "The old man was right."
"Of course. Roslin was right."
"Roslin." Saul shakes his head. "You know she's still insane. But they love her."
"And they'll love her even more." Ellen places her hand on the side of his face. She purses her lips, not wanting to tell him. The people around them fade away. She hopes that he realizes he made them leave. That he remembered this beach on Caprica and how he took her there on their first date. "I love you, Saul."
Saul's hand presses against hers. "I know. It's Jupiter's Feast. The night that the dead are supposed to come back to haunt you. Didn't think of that until now."
"I suppose I'll see you next Juniper's Feast." Ellen feels the crowd come back around her and loses herself between them. She can feel the pull of something else, something new. Someday, when he finds Earth, he just might call her back, but until then, her feet are hot against the pavement.