Author:
Fandom: Babylon 5
Pairing: none, Ivanova.
Rating: G.
Setting: During and Post-"Sleeping in Light."
Words: 861.
Summary: Ivanova has always imagined this moment.
She imagined this moment since Sheridan first told them what Lorien did. She saw her reaction, a nod of acknowledgement if she outlived him. Her faith in her own steadfast determination to live through the battle had wavered after Marcus' death. Should've been her. She shakes her head.
They would gather on Minbar for one last hurrah: one final party of the remaining ones, the survivors. She remembers Garibaldi once calling them family. Family that barely writes or rings. Or maybe that's just her: the career driven aunt who only shows up for family gatherings every five years because she's too busy. The one that everyone gossips about her lack of love life and too many cats.
Dammit. She swore to herself that she would never carry these kind of regrets. Perhaps she has been behind this desk for too long. Or maybe she always had regrets about her mother, Talia, Marcus, the ghosts that haunted her halls. And Sheridan soon to join them.
Minbar would be good for her if Sheridan wasn't dying. If there wasn't a black cloud chasing them down.
She sighs and turns on her com to make transport reservations.
*****
Earth Force ships were never fast enough for her. She misses the sleek movements of the White Star fleet. When she first stepped aboard them, their jump gate technology and streamlined design had made everything seem faster.
She hits the com. "Monroe, how much longer?" The young captain probably thinks she's turning into a crazy old woman who can't check the telemetry of the ship herself.
"E.T.A. two hours, General." The man's voice is sharp. Yep, crazy lady who needs to be locked up. At least when she ran her own ship, no one questioned her insistence on knowing how fast they traveled.
"Ivanova out." She turns off the consol and starts pacing the room. Should she smile when she sees Sheridan, should she acknowledge the grief running through Delenn. Those she loved best are dead or dying. Silently, she curses herself for being younger than Garibaldi and Franklin, but being young hadn't saved Talia.
Ivanova feels tired. Sheridan might be the first one to go, but the rest of them weren't far behind. She wonders how many funerals she'll have to attend in the next few years. Rumors say that Minbari live longer than humans, and a selfish part of her hopes that Delenn will live longer than her.
*****
Dinner's in an hour and Ivanova's been shown to her room. They all said their hellos, polite and friendly as if they weren't there for Sheridan's last day. She could barely look them in their eyes: sure she'd break down if she saw their matching grief.
Her maroon dinner outfit feels tight over her body, even if it isn't, but looks professional, yet eloquent. Sitting down at the vanity, she picks up a brush. Her hair's still damp from the shower she took. Real showers were something that she'd gotten used to, spoiled by, as she lived on Earth, and she didn't feel clean anymore from the vibe showers. General Ivanova sometimes even had the luxury of a bath with bubbles.
She tries not to look into the mirror as she brushes her hair. Ivanova doesn't care to observe the crow's feet on the edges of her eyes and the tiny smile lines from better days.
They would no doubt slip into the ease of conversation over dinner. There would be awkwardness, until Garibaldi made a joke and Franklin quipped back. Ivanova wonders just when they became such good friends and how she became so distant.
Of course, she knows. She hid behind duty and rank and conveniently forgot to return transmissions.
She lays her brush down on the vanity and stands, straightening her top. Tonight, Ivanova will smile and honor a friend, a commander, and a member of her family.
******
Ivanova wakes a long time before the Minbari sun rises. She dresses in the black pants and a shirt she brought along for the impending funeral. The black also allows her to hide in the shadows.
She doesn't know what her intent is. But there's a feeling, a nagging feeling that Sheridan will fly off into the horizon like a beam of light. An officer exploding in the stars. Ivanova knows that a captain is shit without his second in command.
Minbari halls are like mazes or labyrinths. Ivanova expects to chase a white rabbit over a hedge soon enough. She's seen stranger things.
There's a large painting in the hallway. A green stripe down the middle stands out in the early morning twilight. It twinkles around her and reflects in her eyes. She knows that change is coming. Their gathering here, Sheridan's death, and the decommissioning of Babylon 5 all signal it. Ivanova hopes that there is change left for her.
She continues down the hallways, careful not to disturb a thing. The sun peaks through the windows and Ivanova stops looking. Her search proves fruitless, and her feet are the only echo in the building. Sheridan's gone. And Ivanova will gather her strength and stand by Delenn's side in his memory.